Wednesday, July 28, 2010

New Erica Resolutions

I just revisited my post The Evolution of Erica.  It was my birthday post last year; I reflected where I was and what I had become.  This year however has made me think about where I am going.  It amazes me that with every day that passes, I become more aware of time.  Sometimes, acutely aware.  Last night I figured out that in five short years, my oldest will be going off to college.  That my friends is a frightening revelation, especially when you think that it was a blink of an eye to get to 13!  So these crazy realizations, the comparisons to my own childhood and adolescence has me reeling at times, but I figure I need to do something about it and stop acting punch-drunk.  I'm going to make New Erica Resolutions in hopes of managing my time better..

This coming year, I am going to stop being just the observant-play parent and become the play-on-the-floor parent too.  I am going to interact by pushing a matchbox car around, making dinosaurs fight, building Lego mansions, and dressing Barbies for at least15 minutes every day. ( I cringe as I type such a short amount of time, but to be honest I don't have the imagination to make it last too much longer than that.)

This coming year, I am going to listen to the kids.  I am going to stop the laundry and loading of the dishwasher and look into my kids eyes as they speak to me.

This coming year, I am going to create more moments to share as a family and with the kids as individuals. 

This coming year I am going to try and find the big picture in life.  I am going to weigh the pros and cons and if the con is my personal discomfort than I will press on anyway.

This coming year I am going to bake for friends and random people.  I am going to learn how to make fancy cupcakes with exotic flavors like on Cupcake Wars and most likely gain 10 pounds.

This coming year, I will no longer tailgate. I may still call people "stupid idiot", but there will be a safe following distance when I do it.

This coming year I am going to get more sleep and stop using the "I'm tired" excuse to explain my behavior, lack of productivity, and why I don't brush and floss every night.

This coming year, I am going to be an encourager to my husband.  I am going to tell him thanks when he helps with the kids without me asking, when he gets home from working all day, and even when he leaves a mess on the stove and the kids are still up at 10 at night because I went out with friends.  I will not take him for granted.

This coming year, I am going to make a difference in the lives of strangers and young mothers by loving and caring for them, therefore making a difference in my own family.

 This coming year, I will write once a month whether that be on here or on a calendar.  I will do it!

This coming year, I will evolve even more.  I will sober up to the fact that I can't stop time, but I can make the most of what time God has given me.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Life By The Handful

I wouldn't be a good web designer, that's for sure.  My friend commented the other day to say I should update my header to include Sadie.   So I attempted to update and now the whole thing is askew.  My words aren't centered like on my last heading (although I'm not missing a coma like I was on the last one).  I'm not sure where the box came from or how to make it border my picture like it was intended.  Unfortunately it will remain there, a 1/4-too-small square that will be a reminder of my lack of cyber artistic skills.  And yes, I realize I still really didn't update with Sadie, but I was really trying to keep the whole hand holding theme going and I don't have any with Sadie out of the womb.  Sorry!  Maybe after next years Christmas card photo session.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Missing Two

It's been almost four weeks since Jace and Brynna left to drive across country with my parents.  They were on the road for 10 days and now they are residing in my old abode with my folks.  I miss them terribly.  Yes, I miss the huge help they are to me, but most of all I miss them and the way we laugh together.  We talk almost daily, but conversations are different over the phone than they are in real life.  Situations aren't nearly as funny when they happened five hours previously and you are trying to relive them via Bell's greatest invention.  What would have had us crying because we were laughing so hard, now conjure only a chuckle as we try to picture it in our mind's eye.

Often I try to imagine them back there in my childhood home, as I share with them what I used to like to do and the places I would go.  I wish I were back there with them to physically show them so I could see their expressions and re-live it all again.  It had been over four years since they had seen Lightening Bugs and I wonder if Brynna's eyes lit up just as bright when she saw them again.  I also wonder if they see me back there.  When they hang out with my mom and sisters, do they see me in their eyes, in their actions?  Do they notice that my dad breaks into song at the mention of phrases, just like their mom?  Do they notice the similarities in my brother and my humor?  Are they hearing stories of when their dad and I were children and does it give them any insight to who we are now?  I'm sure it doesn't.  It's only now when I listen to the stories of my own parents youth that I can make the connection that these two people in their golden years were once children.  Even in my own life, it seems almost unfathomable that it is possible that I am the little girl in the pictures in my albums.

In two more weeks Sadie and I will hop a plane to go and pick them up.  I'm counting down the days. In my head I'm running at them like a lonely husband from Wife Swap who finally realizes what he has been missing, but I'm sure Jace and Brynna will greet me with sauntering sideways hugs and a "hi, mom". I will take what I can get, as long as I get them.