"Who is a cute baby? Who loves his momma," I asked Vance in a sing-song voice. He responds with peals of laughter and a shriek.
"Isn't it weird," Brynna asked me, "how you're not the funny one and Vance always laughs at you and Dad is funny and he never laughs at him?"
"I am too funny," I argue with the 7 year old.
"No you're not, you only make me laugh if you tickle me or something," she retorted.
"Maybe you have to have a sense of humor to think I'm funny," I thought, my maturity showing.
Mind you this all occurred on Monday the first day back to school. My ego had already been bruised by my oldest thinking his dad was cooler than I and now, evidently, he has the humor market cornered as well? When did I loose my mojo? I have always been funny, if for nothing more then out of necessity. In High School, it seemed as if I befriended all of the beautiful girls so if I wanted a guy's attention it normally came through making them laugh. I was the crackup and now it seems that my comicality has fled.
You might be thinking, for Pete's sake, why are you taking a person whose idea of good humor is an ice cream bar (get it?) or a knock knock joke, but really her comment is just a straw that has been beginning to collect on this camel's back. I've had several reminders lately that I am not the funny girl I once thought I was. You would think with age, self confidence would be a well stocked resource, but it's not. Year by year it's been depleting in the humor department and I've called it growing up.
In my youth I would put on comedy shows for my family and friends dressing in 60s polyester dancing around like an idiot and imitating people. I would have a jocular response for almost everything said to me. Now I only dance unreserved in front my children, the world outside my home gets the sway and snap. As for the rest of my humor, I'm guessing it has been shoved aside by cooking, cleaning, ironing, chasing kids, packing lunches and changing diapers. It does on occasion rear its jovial head, when stress is at a minimum and I can enjoy the moment and actually reason appropriateness or when stress is at its peak and it functions as a coping mechanism.
So as I search for my funny alter ego in my ever increasing domestic chaos I will try to push the insecurities aside and show the world how I really bust a move, I will learn some new knock knock jokes and I will strive to keep this blog alive so that I can see my life for the humor it truly contains. In the interim, I will keep up with my imitation of a sweet mom with a kind voice that makes Vance laugh so much. Maybe I will emulate that soft spoken mother with my other kids, instead of the screaming irrational mother who is constantly referring to her children by both their first and middle names . I think it might conjure up a chuckle, if they don't think I've gone crazy first.