Hello, I'm back! Have you missed me?
I realize it's been a while and although I would love to give the excuse of a new baby and home school, I wouldn't be telling the truth. The real issue is Facebook. I've been obsessing over my friend's statuses for months. I have a break, I pop on the computer to see what is happening on the east coast. I wake up and check to see what friends have uploaded pictures of their kids, their pets, the weather. Before bed, I read the conversations between people I went to school with 15 years ago. It's ridiculous. Why do I care who earned what in Farmville, I don't even play. I feel as if I have become a virtual peeping Tom and to be honest I don't like it, but have I stopped - no. So this is not only an explanation of my absence but a confession of my obsession in hopes that now that I have admitted it I will somehow be able to change it. Whew, sweet release!
I can't say that Facebook is the only reason I have stayed away from you. I did have another baby, baby number six. Our sweet little Sadie girl arrived three weeks early on Thanksgiving day. When they checked me the day before and realized my amniotic fluid was too low to continue the pregnancy, they said this is the day you get to meet your baby. Fearfully I was induced, but the Lord is good and I had her six hours later with no pain meds. Recovery has been wonderful and the kids have been great. (I still stand by my belief that going from one child to two children was by far the most difficult.)
I'm still homeschooling. Still can't stand it. As I type the children are neglecting their assignments and discussing farts and giggling. I have reached my yelling capacity for this hour and will begin again in 20 minutes, after my voice box has had a rest. I still fear that I am ruining them for the real world. That they will never again be able to go into a real class setting and succeed. Constantly doubting if I am doing the right thing. Hoping that they are not becoming social rejects, feeling as if I am.
Another reason I have been gone, is that after a long break from writing it's hard to start up again. Feeling as if there is nothing to say. Other times thinking there is too much to say and not knowing where to begin. Wondering if all my bloggy friends have written me off after so much time. I have decided it's time to get over my paralysis and type, even if it isn't very good. It's nice to be back and stop the excuses. Ignore the Smile requests on Facebook. Learn to type with a baby on the boob. Turn a deaf ear to the children and their slacking. Now if only the little ones could take care of their own excrement....gotta run, there are rears to clear. (Note to self: Make life easier and buy flushable wipes.)